Five Game Parlay: Week 17
It has been quite a football season for our own Gary Haddow. First he beats 1,199 other people to win Scott Fish Bowl 9, and almost as prestigious, he has won the Five Game Parlay! With a six game lead and only five games left, no one can catch our tall, gangly friend. However, there are still battles in the standings, so let’s get to the picks and the standings heading into Week 17.
Gary 50-30 (4-1)
Ryan 44-35-1 (3-2)
Steve 44-36 (4-1)
Drake 41-38-1 (3-2)
Joe 40-37-3 (3-2)
Houston Texans +3.5 over Tennessee Titans. I'm surprised the Texans are underdogs here, but I'm not sure why. Mostly because they are playing at home. If the Titans win this game, it will be a close one. In Tennessee the Texans won this, so why would that change in Houston.
Cleveland Browns -3 over Cincinnati Bengals. Two epic franchises clashing en route to the toilet bowl. Baker and the Browns should finish off the season with a win, even though it means absolutely nothing. I want the Bengals to win, if only for Dalton to ride off into the sunset with a win.
Philadelphia Eagles -4.5 over New York Giants. Win and in for the Eagles. While this game should be a push over, with the depleted Eagles roster who knows what will actually happen. I will lean on the side of the talented roster that like the Steelers, once in the playoffs, should not win a game.
Baltimore Ravens +2 over Pittsburgh Steelers. Even with mostly backups I think the Ravens can mess up Devlin Hodges enough to sneak out a win at home. RGIII is an okay quarterback, and seeing him play for an entire game should be fun. I expect a TON of Gus Edwards in this game.
Buffalo Bills -1.5 over New York Jets. Are the Bills expected to sit their starters? I can't figure out how this line is this close? This is an absurd line that criminally undermines what the Bills have done this year.
Cincinnati Bengals +3 over Cleveland Browns. This would be a fitting end to the Browns season to lose to the Bengals. And honestly if one team is playing better than the other right now, it is Cincinnati. Andy Dalton has one last hurrah in an attempt to prove to another team he can still play and the Bengals win outright.
Indianapolis Colts -3.5 over Jacksonville Jaguars. The Colts have nothing to play for, but the Jaguars haven’t barely been showing up the past month. Minshew mania seems like a decade ago, and Marlon Mack should run all over Jacksonville. Even banged up, Indy wins a laugher.
New Orleans Saints -13 over Carolina Panthers. The Saints still have their sights set on a first round bye while the Panthers have been dreaming of the end of the fourth quarter of this game for two months. The only drama here will be if McCaffrey can go 1,000/1,000. Saints win by a thousand.
Pittsburgh Steelers -2 over Baltimore Ravens. Man, would this be a huge indictment on the Steelers. They still have a shot at the playoffs, while the Ravens won’t be playing anyone important. If they can’t win this one, even on the road, it would be a giant shit in the bed to finish off a whirlwind of a season. I still think the defense is good enough to stop RG3 and Gus the Bus Edwards. Give me Pitt to break the Ravens long winning streak lol.
San Francisco 49ers -3 over Seattle Seahawks. Yes, this is a homer pick. My team vs. my least favorite team with the number one seed in our grasp if we win. We lost the last time, but had a backup kicker, no George Kittle, and Emmanuel Sanders left early. Now they are down two running backs, and fat ass Lynch coming to help? GO NINERS BABY!
Minnesota Vikings -1 over Chicago Bears. Why not?
Dallas Cowboys -10.5 over Washington Redskins. The “Race for Chase” Young is in full effect as a loss would help put the Skins one step closer to landing the talented Ohio State pass rusher.
New York Jets +1.5 over Buffalo Bills. I think the Bills starters will get limited play being they are locked into the five seed in the APC Playoffs, so this will give the Jets an opportunity to finish the season on a high note.
New England Patriots -16 over Miami Dolphins. New England needs a win for a first-round bye and while I am really nervous about the size of this spread, we’ve seen the Patriots rise to the occasion late in the season before.
Green Bay Packers -12.5 over Detroit Lions. I hate the Lions.
New York Giants +4.5 over Philadelphia Eagles. I have zero faith in my Eagles ability to 1. Score points and 2. Stop the Giants from scoring. If the Birds can somehow win with this mash unit squad it'll be by a point or two.
Kansas City Chiefs -8.5 over Los Angeles Chargers. The Chargers have nothing to play for. It could well be Philip Rivers final game but that won't mean much on the scoreboard. KC is getting into playoff form while LA is making tee times. I love betting vs teams who have nothing to play for.
Atlanta Falcons pk over Jacksonville Jaguars. I like the fight this Falcons team has shown over the past month. Dan Quinn may have saved his job with a late season push and a win over Jacksonville could finalize that. Look for Julio Jones to be a popular DFS play vs a pathetic Bucs pass D.
Washington Redskins +10.5 over Dallas Cowboys. Dallas will be scoreboard watching but after last week’s dud I can see this team not even showing up. Total wasted season in Big D. So much talent but a buffoon owner/GM and clueless Head Coach has set the 'Boys up for failure again.
Seattle Seahawks +3 over San Francisco 49ers. At home, Marshawn Lynch returning, rivalry game. I see the 'Hawks coming hot and upsetting the 49ers. I don't see Seattle doing anything in the playoffs but this week they play like it's their Super Bowl.
Tennessee Titans - 3.5 over Houston Texans. I’m going with the public and taking the Titans in this one. The playoffs are on the line for them. They win, they’re in. The Texans have been a Jekyll and Hyde team and I think they’ll hide this week and look to avoid suffering any major injuries as they head into the playoffs.
Cincinnati Bengals +3 over Cleveland Browns. The Bengals have already guaranteed that they’ll have the number one pick in the upcoming 2020 NFL draft so this will be the week where they can let their hair down and wallop the Browns. The Browns are a broken team, and the players don’t like playing for their coach. They’d like nothing better than to lay an egg to ensure that Freddie Kitchens is sent packing on Black Monday. The Bengals are going to crush the Browns.
Kansas City Chiefs – 8.5 over Los Angeles Chargers. This is still a meaningful game for the Chiefs. If they win and the Pats lose they get a first round bye. If they lose and the Texans beat the Titans they’d fall to the number four seed and have to play against a tough Bills defense. The Chiefs head into the playoffs with all cylinders firing. The offense is playing well and surprisingly, so is the defense. The Chargers are done. Take the Chiefs to cover.
New Orleans Saints - 13 over Carolina Panthers. The Saints can clinch at least the number 2 seed in the NFC with a win over the Panthers who have been mailing it in lately. The Panthers have lost seven straight, and have been outscored by just over 19 points per game over their last three games. The Saints should cover this big spread by half-time.
New York Giants + 4.5 over Philadelphia Eagles. The Giants need to show up for this game for there to be a chance that head coach Pat Shurmur is back in 2020. While I don’t think there will be too many tears shed for him in the locker room if he does get fired, I get the sense that the players generally like Shurmur. The Eagles have no Zach Ertz, one WR and a very good running back in Miles Sanders. That’s still enough to beat the Giants in a hard fought emotional battle against a bitter division rival. However, I think this will be a close game with the Giants covering the spread.