Five Game Parlay: Week 6

It was a week of average and worse in Week 5 in the Five Game Parlay as three of us broke completely even with 2-2-1 records. Sadly, it only takes that to be in the lead in this thing so far, which is where Patrick Wisniewski currently sits. However, just a game and a half separates first from last so there is A LOT of season left to go. Let’s keep this game rolling with the current standings and picks.

Patrick 12-12-1 (2-2-1)
Drake 11-14 (1-4)
Joe 11-14 (2-3)
Ryan 11-13-1 (2-2-1)
Steve 10-13-2 (2-2-1)

Patrick’s Picks

Cleveland Browns +1.5 over Los Angeles Chargers. I’m really liking the tougher Browns in the Dog Pound this weekend, at only a 1 ½ point dog, the Chargers bring a pounding running game from Mel Gordon and Austin Eckler of late, along with a QB who loves to throw, but the Browns are developing(hopefully/finally) into a contender.  Give me the Browns getting the 1 1/2 points.

Indianapolis Colts -2.5 over New York Jets. I want the Colts and the points against the Jets who are coming off a blistering offensive outburst last week.  Nobody will confuse the Colts with the 85 Bears, but Andrew Luck is back and driving a much better offense than Sam Darnold. The Luck/Ebron connection is still baffling too me, but ride that train and here’s to a healthy T.Y. Hilton. Give me the Colts getting 2½.

Houston Texans -7.5 over Buffalo Bills. Houston is home to the Bills, but the question is what Bills team rides into Houston? The ones who dismantled the Vikings or the one who was destroyed by the Ravens in week one?  Regardless, the Bills have no passing game and the Texans can flat out let it fly, and need too due to a piss poor running game in Texas.  I’m taking the Texans to win and barely cover the 7½.

Chicago Bears -3 over Miami Dolphins. The Bears/Dolphins game has all the ingredients to be a stinker, or a shoot-out, when it comes to these games, I’ll take the home team, but I like the Bears Defense, and they have more weapons offensively that haven’t been around since the Jurassic Era (Frank Gore), so give me the Bears to cover the field go in probably wet Miami.

Carolina Panthers +1.5 over Washington Redskins. Lastly, I taking the Panthers to cover the 1 ½ on the road in the nation’s capital.  Just too many weapons on the Panthers side of the ball and the Redskins offense inspires zero fear.  Give me Sweet Carolina to cover.  

Drake’s Picks

Atlanta Falcons -3.5 over Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Atlanta and Tampa is the battle of the two worst defenses in the NFL.  It's a fantasy bonanza!!  Start everyone and enjoy the results.  As for the game I can't see Atlanta being this bad all year.  Yes, the defense sucks but they have to overcome them at some point and this week seems like a good time to start.  Falcons cover.

Buffalo Bills +7.5 over Houston Texans. Buffalo has zero weapons on the outside.  Their QB is as accurate as a blind dart player.  Their fanbase is certifiably insane.  All that said they'll make this game close.  I like the Bills to shock the world and beat the spread.

Los Angeles Chargers -1 over Cleveland Browns. Chargers only giving one vs the Browns?  Stop.  Chargers by a TD.  Rivers throws for 300.  All your fantasy assets go off.  

Jacksonville Jaguars-3 over Dallas Cowboys. Like them or not the Dallas Cowboys have a good defense.  They can keep themselves in any game.  Unfortunately they have the worst set of wide receivers this side of Orchard Park.  Jags throw it 50x and cover.

Green Bay Packers -10 over San Francisco 49ers. CJ Beathard throws short like his idol is Chuck Knoblauch.  His check downs are works of art.  The 49ers defense isn't. Aaron Rodgers covers the spread.  Pack by 13.

Joe’s Picks

Pittsburgh Steelers +2.5 over the Cincinnati Bengals. I usually don’t like the Steelers on the road but if they win they’ll be within a game of first place. That has to be somewhat of a motivating factor right? The Steelers have also won each of their last five games at Cincinnati’s Paul Brown Stadium. The Bengals have been playing a bit over their head this season. They’re good but not good enough to get to 5-1. Take the Steelers.

Denver Broncos +7 over the Los Angeles Rams. The Rams win this game but they don’t cover. The Broncos still enjoy a nice home field advantage in that thin Denver mountain air. It’s supposed to snow leading up to game time, so field conditions may be a bit slick. All three of the Broncos home games have been decided by four points or less this season. The Broncos cover.

Buffalo Bills +7 ½ over the Houston Texans. Another game where the favorite will win but won’t cover. The Texans are 1-9 against the spread in their last 10 games and the Bills have been surprisingly feisty when you least expect them to be. Deshaun Watson will play but isn’t 100 percent and the Texans barely beat the Cowboys last week.           

Chicago Bears -3 over the Miami Dolphins. The Dolphins were exposed for the frauds that they are by the Patriots in Week Four and have been outscored 65 to 24 in their last two games. The last time we saw the Bears on a football field they were busy pummeling the Bucs in Week Five. Look for the Bears to get off to a slow start offensively as they shake the rust that sometimes accumulates after a bye week but their offense will hold the Dolphins in check. The Bears’ offense should start rolling in the second half leading to an easy 17-3 win. The Bears cover!

Tennessee Titans +2 ½ over the Baltimore Ravens. Let’s go with the home dog!! The Ravens are playing their third straight road game and they’re playing against a good home team. The Titans have won 12 of their last 14 home games and they’ve covered the spread in their last four games as home underdogs. The Titans last four games have been decided by three points are less. The Titans cover!

Ryan’s Picks

Chicago Bears -3 over Miami Dolphins. I am starting to really like the Bears. Trubisky but the league on notice last game that he doesn’t suck, and this team has had two weeks to prepare since they are coming off their bye. Look for Khalil Mack to make Ryan Tannehill shit his pants on numerous occasions as he hits him (legally) at least a half dozen times.

Carolina Panthers +1.5 over Washington Redskins. I don’t think that Washington is very good. I know a couple of games this year they have looked decent, but overall I think they are an under .500 team. I’m a little worried that Washington will play with some passion trying to win their trash of a division, but this week I’ll take Cam for the win.

Jacksonville Jaguars -3 over Dallas Cowboys. The Cowboys offense SUUUUUUUKS! Sorry to say, but they have one legitimate offensive player. No matter who is running the ball for the Jags I think they will do enough, and my boy Blakey Bortles will throw for 250 and two scores. No garbage time points for Bortles this week!

Baltimore Ravens -2.5 over Tennessee Titans. My season long hatred for the Titans………continues. The offense is trash. They can’t score points. The Ravens aren’t exactly world beaters, but I think they are a field goal better than the shitty Titans. Let Flacco chuck it 50 more times and Ravens win by six.

Cleveland Browns +1 over Los Angeles Chargers. I’m not overly confident in this one, but I want to believe the Browns are a much improved team. With a decent kicker they would have beaten the Saints and the Steelers, so why can’t they beat the Chargers at home? I like them, but they aren’t a great team by any stretch. I’ll take a shot on the Brownies in the Dawg Pound.

Steve’s Picks

Chicago Bears (-3) over Miami Dolphins. The Bears should be well rested coming off their bye week and I can see them making mincemeat of the hapless Dolphins. Chicago’s defense should give the Fins offense fits and Adam Gase doesn’t like to utilize his best weapon offense, Kenyan Drake. I can honestly see the Bears winning by double digits.

Carolina Panthers (+1.5) over Washington Redskins. Paul Richardson…questionable. Jamison Crowder…questionable. Josh Doctson…questionable. The Redskins may have to use Donald Trump and Mike Pence as pass catchers in this one and that doesn’t give me a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Indianapolis Colts (+2.5) over NY Jets. Andrew Luck has been playing well and I think the Jets aren’t as good as their 2-3 record indicates. I will take Luck over Darnold in this battle of crappy teams.

Tampa Bay Bucs (+3.5) over Atlanta Falcons. I think a lot of people will take the Falcons in this one because they have a really good offense. Here’s a secret for you. The Bucs have a pretty good one too. Tampa is also coming off a bye and with division games typically closer than people think, I think the Bucs have a very good shot of covering the three and a half-point spread.

Jacksonville Jaguars (-3) over Dallas Cowboys. If it weren’t for Ezekiel Elliott, I’m not sure the Cowboys would win more than one or two games this season. Jacksonville has enough weapons on defense that they should be able to focus their attention on him, thus shutting down the entire Cowboys offense. Even with the liability named Blake Bortles, the Jaguars should win this one comfortably.


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