Pumpkin King = Cash Cow!
Do you remember when decorating for Halloween wasn't a thing? If someone had spiders and cobwebs all over their house, you just didn't go over there. It was as simple as that. But now, yeah, it's a thing. And I'm right there with the rest of the weirdos whose houses looks like Captain Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Madmen exploded in the near vicinity. And on all the nuthouses (houses of nuts, like me, that is), who's face is it you see displayed in the vast, vast majority of them? If you said The Pumpkin King Jack Skellington (and I'm guessing you did because Ry probably put a picture of him up with the article) then you would be exactly right!
(Editors Note: This is not a joke, this is actually his fucking house. And yes, he has a wife. God Bless her for allowing this. And of course you see who is to the far right!)
How long has Jack been around? How long is a piece of string. Too goddamn long. Ha! In honesty, I'm a huge fan of The Pumpkin King, I've always loved the character. But I started to realize something a few Christmases ago...The Disney Corporation has been exploiting Jack forever and it's getting worse.
My issue with Disney can be summed up in one brief story. A friend of mine and I took our families to Disney World. After getting settled in, we thought it was time to grab a beer, so, we went down to the gift shop (of all places). A six-pack of Miller Lite was $16. Christ, you can get a 30-brick for about $22 in the normal world. And that's 2024 prices! Then I saw Heineken and was like, how is Miller Lite $16 and this only $5.99? (this was when Heineken was still considered one of the premium beers). That was $5.99 PER CAN, in 2012 when things were still affordable. So, of course we bought the Miller Lite. Man cannot live on Disney park food alone. My buddy goes up to the register and says a line to the clerk that I'll never forget. It went exactly like this...he pays for his beer, pulls a can off the six-pack, looks at the girl and goes "Next time you see the mouse, tell him we're not too happy with his prices!" Then, psssskt! he opens beer, takes a big gulp and walks out. I look at her and go, "Oh! Can we drink in here?" She replies, "No one's ever asked."
So, this is what we're dealing with. An entity that is so successful that it can charge whatever it wants for anything and people will pay for it. It's absolutely amazing. They bought the rights to Star Wars and pump out about six movies a year. Christ, Disney, pump the brakes and take a breath. You'll get ALL the money eventually, don't worry.
Tim Burton was working as an animator for Disney Productions around 1982 and wrote a poem that would become the inspiration for The Nightmare Before Christmas. It was called The Nightmare Before Christmas! (ha, ha. sorry, struck me as funny). The film finally became a reality in 1991, and the rest is history. It was released by Touchstone Pictures, which was just Disney for movies that Disney didn't want people to know were Disney movies, because god forbid a Disney movie didn't have a goddamn singing squirrel in it. What would people think. So, hiding behind Touchstone, Disney releases The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Now, fast-forward 35 years and Jack is still making BANK for Disney (who wouldn't even claim him when he first arrived. Indeed!) And, since stores now start putting Halloween decorations out around mid-August and sell Christmas decorations right up until the time the fat man crams himself down the chimney, Disney is now getting about four and a half months to hawk their TNBC swag. They're not limited to selling Jack merch for just one holiday. Oh, no! They get Halloween AND Christmas. And since the two holidays are pretty much back-to-back these days (do any of you have a family like me? Literally, as I take the coffins and spider webs down, they are instantly replaced by wreaths, an Elf on the Shelf and stockings for every family member, pet and the mail lady). Thanksgiving is an afterthought anymore. And, rightfully so. As holidays go, a turkey dinner can't really stand up with the insanity of Halloween and Christmas celebrating. Even the decorations are lame. What the fuck is a cornucopia? And all during this time, Disney, cha-ching, cha-ching.
But, maybe the problem is we just rush things. We're too eager to get to the next whatever it is. Kids literally get out on the last day of school, go to the store on the way home and walk past the "Back to School" display that's being erected. Well, I have to be honest with you, this wasn't where I thought this article was going to go. It started as fuck you, Disney, you money-grubbers, blah, blah...and ended with a moment of self-reflection and a reminder to enjoy the moment. So, putting my Disney bias aside for a moment, let me say, as we get into the holiday season, take the time to slow down, drink it all in and enjoy every minute. Even shitty Thanksgiving.
